The Bittersweet of Falling In Love

Written by: Maria Elouisa E. Enerlan

Date written: March 19, 2004

Date updated: November 1, 2012

“When I lost you, I was the one who loved the most, but between us you lost more... for someday I can love someone the way that I loved you, but you will never be loved again the way that I did.” These are the words I said when my heart was broken into pieces, eyes run dry because of too much tears that I shed when the person I loved and cared the most had caused me so much pain, tormented me and made me feel that I’m a hopeless person without the love I once have. I’m writing this, not just to let all the readers knew about the different possibilities when you learn how to fall in love, to love, and be loved or maybe when you realize that you don’t even care if love is on your side. Instead, I want to share to you my experience about love and how love made me the person I am right now. Yes, LOVE is such a small word, but when you go beyond the deepest meaning of it, no one could ever describe its true meaning and how it ever existed. Love is the most wonderful feeling that no one can take it away from you once it is already on your side. For me, love is endless because it grows for a lifetime. Like I always say to myself, that you’ll know if that one person is RIGHT for you, when that person knows how to make you SMILE and make you feel that you’re the most beautiful thing he/she sees in his/her eyes… a person who wants to spend a lifetime with you and to see you grow old together with him/her, then that is TRUE LOVE.

Losing someone we love may not a loss at all, but a blessing because someone more deserving is yet to come

Anyone who has gone through the agony of losing someone he/she loves so much will still wish against all odds to have the love back again, but sometimes a love lost is a love gone forever. No amount of hope can bring back to life a relationship that just died a natural death. Set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and then fly up high in the sky. One day the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can find rest. One of these is where you will build your nest and start all over again. It’s never too late. You may find love and lose it, but WHEN LOVE DIES, YOU NEVER DIE WITH IT. You cannot be a redeemer all your life. The best way to weigh a relationship is through the test of fire. You cannot be a sober with your mistakes forever. We all fall and make wrong decisions, but our blunders are not meant to bury us deep in misery but to teach us the valued lessons of life. Loving is always a learning process. With love we learn how to CARE AND SACRIFICE. We learn to SHARE AND REACH OUT. We learn to be UNSELFISH AND GIVE MORE THAN WE CAN. When everything doesn’t end well then we learn how it feels to fall and get hurt.

Learning doesn’t have to end there. After our fall, we strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is where we learn that LIFE DOESN’T END WHERE OUR HEARTACHES BEGIN. THERE IS NO FUTURE FOR RELATIONSHIP OF LIES AND SELFISHNESS. It’s true that there is life in love, but there can still be life even after losing the love you once had. Leave all the past behind and let your heart heal its pain as you give yourself the chance to find it again. The success of relationship lies not only in the beauty of its beginning, but in its consistency. Make a choice not on impulse, but a decision based on a healthy balance of mind and heart. Let us always remember that HAPPINESS IS NOT A MATTER OF DESTINY, BUT A MATTER OF CHOICE. There comes a time in our lives when we have a chance upon someone so nice and beautiful just find ourselves getting too intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually it consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. YOU DON’T HAVE TO FORGET SOMEONE YOU LOVE, WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN IS HOW TO ACCEPT THE VERDICT OF REALITY WITHOUT BEING BITTER OR SORRY FOR YOURSELF. YOU WOULD BE BETTER OFF GIVING THAT DEDICATION AND LOVE TO SOMEONE MORE DESERVING.

Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings, but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. IF YOU LOSE LOVE, IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE FAILED IN LOVE. CRY IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT MAKE SURE THAT TEARS WASH AWAY THE HURT AND BITTERNESS THAT THE PAST LEFT YOU WITH. LET GO OF YESTERDAY AND LOVE WILL FIND ITS WAY BACK TO YOU. When it does happen to you, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. A woman on the rebound could easily fall for sweeping emotions and be made to falsely believe that she finally stumbled upon the right man when what she just found is only someone to cover up for the love she lost. A man who makes a promise with words and not with actions may never live up to fulfill them.

ITS TRUE THAT LOVE CAN WAIT FOREVER, BUT IT IS CRAZY TO STUBBORNLY HOPE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T EVEN CARE OR UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. Love makes us see the things through rose-colored glasses. Most of the time, we fail to recognize the danger sign that light up along our way. This feeling you have nurtured for so long isn’t healthy anymore. You must realize that you have to let go now before it consumes you and your sanity. There is always a time to think and stop. There is also a time to be sensible and not to allow our hearts to rule over our heads. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY NOT IN THE ARMS OF SOMEONE WHO KEEPS YOU WAITING, BUT IN THE ARMS OF SOMEONE WHO WILL TAKE YOU NOW AND LOVE YOU FOREVER. If loving a person who is attached to someone else is a crime, then maybe, many of us would have been jailed long before we realize what its consequences could have been. Loving someone is never a sin. It’s what people do out of love that sometimes makes it all wrong. The selfish desire to want that person is what makes it a sin. DON’T THINK ONLY OF YOUR FEELINGS FOR REAL LOVE DOESN’T HAVE A PLACE FOR SELFISH PEOPLE.

When there is love, we should all know that there will always be sacrifices. When we love someone, we never easily give up on that person. Even if we get hurt badly we always try to find a way to ease the pain and learn to understand and forgive. Loving too much doesn’t hurt. It is when we expect this love to be reciprocated that we begin to seek approval and acceptance of the things we have done and when we are taken for granted and rejected, we curse the very same love that we once freely and happily offered. DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME WAITING FOR SOMEONE WHO NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD HAVE FELT. OPEN YOUR HEART AGAIN AND GIVE YOURSELF THE CHANCE TO FIND THAT ONE PERSON WHO WOULD MAKE LOVING WORTH THE PAIN AND THE SACRIFICE. Just like anything else, our love grows weak and dies, if not taken care of; it could keep up with pain only to a certain extent. Beyond that, it withers without any hope of recovery and soon dies. GOD WAKES US IN THE MIDST OF A STORM TO TEACH US A LESSON. HE TAKES AWAY PEOPLE WE LOVE, SO WE CAN LEARN TO VALUE LOVE ITSELF; HE MAKES US CRY SO HARD, SO THAT WE CAN SEE THINGS CLEARLY WHEN WE OPEN OUR EYES. HE MAKES US BITTER, SO WE CAN REALIZE THAT THERE IS NO GENUINE HAPPINESS IF WE ONLY THINK OF OUR OWN NEEDS AND NOT OF OTHERS.

Relationships built on jealousy and selfishness is doomed from the very beginning. The hardest part of losing love is letting go and moving on. Most of us cry endlessly over things that could have been, but never will be. God allows us to experience pain to make us stronger and be a better person. He will see us through the most terrifying and difficult times in our lives. If we only put our trust in Him, we would learn on how to find the joy in our tears and happiness in our sorrows. In many failed relationships, separation comes as the inevitable choice, but moving on always proves to be twice as difficult as letting go. Sometimes, our choice to hold on is beyond the control of circumstances. Letting go is a decision that can never be dictated on us. It is a resolution we make to ourselves. Acceptance is the key to a new beginning. Time is the healer of all wounds. Even if the storm casts its fearful shadow, there will always be light after our darkness and loneliest moments. There is always a hope for those who believe. There is always a chance for those who try.

LOSING SOMEONE WE LOVE MAY NOT BE A LOSS AT ALL, BUT A BLESSING BECAUSE SOMEONE MORE DESERVING IS YET TO COME. There is nothing wrong in expressing our feelings to someone we love, but WE MUST ALWAYS BE SENSITIVE TO THE SIGNALS THAT TELL US WHEN TO RATIONALIZE AND BE SENSIBLE. There comes a time in our lives when we would fall for someone who wouldn’t be as interested as we are because his attention is focused on someone else. There are many times when we love, but don’t get love in return. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THE SIGN AHEAD OF US SAYS STOP, BUT WE STILL STUBBORNLY HEAD ON. THERE ALSO COMES A TIME THAT THE SIGN IS ALREADY THERE, BUT WE TEND TO IGNORE IT. THINKING IT WAS JUST A FALSE ALARM AND IT WILL STAY THERE EVEN IF WE DON’T MAKE CERTAIN MOVES. Later did we realize that love is on our side, but it was too late because we let it passed by; we would say that our love is unconditional. If love is really unconditional then we should never feel bad. The question is why do we get frustrated when love turns sour? For this reason, we still subconsciously seek acceptance and assurance from the people we care about. Just like I said before that BEING IN LOVE CAN BE THE MOST WONDERFUL THING WE COULD EXPERIENCE, BUT IF THE FEELING BEGINS TO CONSUME OUR WHOLE BEINGS, THEN WE HAVE TO STOP AND LET OUR MINDS AND NOT OUR HEARTS DICTATE OUR ACTIONS. ONLY WHEN WE LEARN TO ACCEPT OUR FATE AND UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF OUR FAILURES CAN WE TRULY GO ON WITH LIFE. WITHOUT HAVING TO LOOK BACK AND CRY OVER THE THINGS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN AND NEVER WILL BE. We should always bear in our mind and in our hearts that love is everywhere, but we should all know that your ONE TRUE LOVE comes and knocks to your door only once, so if love chooses to be on your side in a most unexpected event of your life don’t let it go or it will never pass your way once again. God is good because He blessed each one of us to feel the feeling of being in love, how to love and be loved. WE SHOULDN’T LET OUR DOUBTS AND FEARS TO DIRECT OUR TRUE FEELINGS THAT LOSES THE MAGIC OF LOVE BECAUSE IT’S NOT EVERYDAY THAT WE MEET THIS ONE PERSON WHO HAS THE MAGIC TO LET YOU FALL IN LOVE. If we meet someone and you felt something special to that person, try to express it because every moment wasted would be equal to tons of regrets in the end. All my life, I have been waiting for my Charming Prince to come and I know that there’s also someone out there who is looking for his Princess. And I do believe that if you want your own Fairytale dreams to come true then find that one path where you meet that person with whom you think could be your dream come true; then you’ll realize that any Fairytale is not just a story, but a reality. If in Fairy Tales it ends in “They live happily every after” well I would say that in TRUE LOVE it has no ending because it is endless, it lives and stays for a lifetime….